Where have I been? August 11

August 11 - Hi friends! Sorry I haven't been posting every single thing I've been eating lately. I learned that I felt myself judging myself for what I was eating more when I took photos of it and posted it. That doesn't mean I'm never doing it -- I just want to be less compulsive about it for a bit. I also did weigh myself again last week and I think that didn't help. So I think from now on I'm not weighing, not tracking water and not taking photos of every single thing I eat. This process is hard. Like it's a lot of work getting in tune with yourself. And I'm a perfectionist. I like to succeed immediately so gaining 6 lbs in 3 weeks has been hard for me. But I'm working really hard on self acceptance, and cutting myself some slack. I've noticed that I've been eating just to eat and I'm actually just letting myself. I restricted so long and I really truly need to prove to myself that under no circumstances will I restrict. What if I'm hungry? What if I'm full? What if I have multiple desserts? What if I gain weight from eating food? What if I'm eating just for fun? What if I'm eating just to taste the food? What if I'm eating emotionally. Who cares. I'm letting myself absolute freedom. My body knows when I'm lying in the background. It's knows if I say oh I'll go back to tracking if I get too fat or, you shouldn't be eating that. It knows. It hears me. So right now it's about not thinking those things and feeling safe and free.