Day 9

Day 9/Meal 1 - Cookies, cheesy bread and marshmallows.

Day 9/Meal 1- you know it's really really easy to judge yourself for eating cookies and marshmallows for breakfast, but the only way I'm going to get tired of soft, delicious, chewy freshly baked cookies is if I literally eat them whenever I want. It's also a really brave thing to eat whatever you want instead of what you should have. I didn't realize my restriction to cookies but seeing how obsessed I am with these, and how I was with confetti sugar cookies while doing ww two weeks ago (I ate like 6 in a row during some last supper eating) then I must have been restricting them. I am starting more and more to crave 'real food' like my body knows this isn't substantial and isn't good fuel. It knows that. But I wake up in the mornings and want sweet things. Only sweet thing I have is like pancakes and I'm like meh. So maybe I need to buy some waffles and other sweet breakfast stuff? No idea what I'm having for supper because I've been too stressed to prepare my food ahead of time this week. But anyways. This process might look insane to you... but you need to eat your 'off-limit foods' so that they will no longer have power over you and until I stop wanting cookies for breakfast I haven't achieved that yet. Something I am achieving is no longer obsessively chasing fullness. I think I am finally trusting myself when I say it's ok if you're not stuffed to the brim cause you can eat literally the second you get hungry again... no worries there.

Day 9/Snack - Small IceCap and Strawberry and Cheese Strudel 

This is my first snack on IE. I did not eat myself full at the last meal.. I have actually been stopping when I am no longer hungry. I wanted an icecap. I'm torn about sugary beverages. I don't want to restrict but I also don't need like millions of calories from drinks. So I had a small one and that was fine cause I almost didn't even finish it. I also had a little strudel thing. What's weird is on WW I would just lust after donuts while getting my coffee every morning. Since IE I have had many chances to get one including free ones at work, and I just haven't wanted to. Weird weird weird.

Day 9/Meal 2 - Cold Cut Trio Sandwich from Tim Hortons.

For supper I had the cold cut trio sandwich from Tim Hortons. I likely didn't need the whole thing, as I am sure I got full before finishing it, but it was delicious, and I chose to eat the entire thing. I did not leave a bite behind.

Day 9/Meal 2.5 - Cupcake

I was already full from the sandwich, so I didn't "need" this cupcake but I thought about this cupcake instantly. I rather eat when full now and drop that craving than wait until later and have restriction cause me bigger problems tonight. After dinner when I have something sweet I feel psychologically satisfied and don't need to eat again until I feel hungry. Later this night, I got a tummy ache, and I think the sandwich is the culprit. I love it, but it does not make me feel very good. When Erik picked me up he was eating fast food, and game a couple of bites of poutine. When I got home I had a marshmallow or two. But I didn't have another offical meal, because my stomach didn't feel very good.