Day 19

Day 19/Meal 1 - Left Over Pizza

Yesterday I felt like I over ate and ate when I wasn't hungry and ate 'bad' things. I'm trying to get away from that idea. I don't feel particularly amazing about how I look and feel today but thats a lesson right. Sometimes when you don't feel good about yourself it's easy to make it show the next day in how you eat like ' I'm fat I don't deserve to eat this and this a food.' Well this AM not sure if I was hungry or not. I want to start waiting until I'm hungry but I don't like packing and taking 'breakfast' to work. Anyways so I ate 4 pieces of left over pizza and left bits and pieces of each slice behind. 

I was wanting a sugar cookie but I figured I should eat a real meal first which is probably bad thinking as well. If I wanted cookies for breakfast I should have done it. The pizza was also like just okay not amazing. Anyways I was going to have 3 cookies and was fine and good and stopped at 2.

 

Erik and I just rode our bikes. Usually he asks and I go noooo I'm lazy but today it didn't sound like that bad of an idea so I thought sure let's go. We went further than usual, I felt less out of breath than usual and I wore my in my house only clothes outside cause yolo who cares. I also posted this picture which I never would in the past cause my stomachs not flattering but says who? Me? If so that's effed up - it's just a tummy so that shiz is going up. Also my leg looks gooood.

Day19/Meal 2 - Ice Cream  

Then we went and got ice cream around 4:45 pm. I wasn't hungry but my fave ice cream place had a flavour I wanted to try cinnamon twist so I had that and tiger tiger and ate it all because I wanted to psychologically so I let myself.

Day 19/Meal 3 -  Corn, bread with butter, potatoes, pineapple and chicken on the BBQ

So tonight for supper we had corn, bread with butter, potatoes, pineapple and chicken on the BBQ. It was delicious and one of the best meals we had cooked in a long time. The problem though was both my phones were dead. I couldn't take a picture for instagram. I almost didn't want to eat it because I couldn't take a picture and that's when I realized that that is absolutely insane. It's hard for me because I want to document this process but taking photos of my food and then talking about it is really similar to what I was doing with ww and has a sort of obsessive way to it. I think it also affects my choices like oh I need to post this so others can see, and how many of those did I eat again? And maybe that's not good. I wonder if I can have an instagram dedicated to IE but not post every single thing I eat because I need to improve my OCD issue with food.

 So pretty proud of myself because after supper I wanted a little dessert. I really like doing that because it seals the meal off for me. Anyways I told myself I could polish off the rest of the bag of salt and vinegar chips (which we have had for 6 days and have been open for 4 days now without being binged) and all the tim tams I wanted because I could feel myself mentally restrict and I was like no! So I sat down had like ten chips and three tim tams and I was over it. I also told myself I could have a bigger dessert later that night if I wanted to and I didn't.