Day 12

Day 12/Meal 1 - Chocolate Croissant 

I was up earlier than usual this morning and I felt pretty hungry when I woke up. I warmed up this chocolate croissant. It was delicious, I loved it. I also left one big bite behind. I don't feel full, but later Erik and I will have breakfast so that's fine. Eaten at 9AM. Started at a level started at a 1, and ate to a 5. Today's goal is to be mindful and actually eat intuitively. I have not done that the past few days. And there's no reason to beat myself up over it. I did over eat both nights, but a very awesome victory yesterday was only eating two brownies instead of the whole pan, and not eating after supper at 7pm until the next morning. And not cause I was dieting or restricting because I had had enough. That's awesome. I also didn't eat between my lunch and supper yesterday. If there's something to watch out and be careful for with me is starting the continual process eating when not hungry which is a behaviour I would do on cheat days. I don't want to restrict but I should be eating meals when hungry not junky snacks 24/7. Something I read in the IE book that made me happy is that 'some people rather have sweet breakfasts over savory' and all this time I felt guilty and bad for having a sweet tooth every morning when maybe it's normal for some people to lean one way or the other in the AM.

Day 12/Meal 2 - Steak and Cheese 6 inch from Subway 

We didn't eat breakfast at home like I planned and I was starving before work. It had been 5 hours since I ate last. I had a 6inch steak and cheese from subway and a little nutrigrain bar (for sort of a sweet treat to finish off with.) I did leave a bite of the sub. I went from starving at a 4  to full an 8. Ate at 2pm, we will see when I get hungry for supper.

Day12/Meal 3 - Macaroni and Cheese

I ate at about 6:45 p.m. I wasn't sure about my hunger... but then decided I was at a 4. My stomach wasn't rumbling but hurt like it was hungry. This tasted amazing but I would have wanted some ketchup or hot sauce for it. I left a bite behind which I'm proud about. (: That is very hard for me to do. I feel so attached to my food while I eat it. I also feel like I never stop before my portion is over... but maybe I am just eating the right amount to make me full?

Day 12/Meal 3.5 - Dessert/Brownie

I shoved 2-3 small brownies I made last night into this small container. These were absolutely delicious. Between the mac and cheese and the brownies I think I'm at an 8 now and feel full. I love eating dessert right after supper. I feel so content and have no need to eat again unless I'm super hungry later. I'm planning on having a decaf coffee with creamer later which I am super excited about. Today I feel really good about my eating and feel like I am trying hard to listen to my hunger cues. 

So coffee has been messing with me. During this process I've been trying to listen to how my body feels and how it reacts to food. I know it doesn't like highly refined carbs like donuts and pizza and white bread (I get heartburn) but coffee has been an interesting one for me. What I didn't realize since on WW I ignored how I felt... but coffee destroys my hunger cues. It hides them. It's hard to feel them. My stomach also feels acidic. I like coffee so I figured maybe I can drink coffee after dinner when my hunger cues don't matter as much. I did today... and gave me heart burn. Like it doesn't feel good. When doing ww none of this mattered because covering hunger is great if you're starving and I would eat supper by a time not by my hunger cues. And I guess I just ignored the heart burn part. So I might have coffee if I feel like it... but I think I'm going to replace it with tea in my routine.

Day12/Meal 4/Dessert - Mini donuts.

 so I'm pretty proud of myself. I went to the store tonight to grab a thing or two and I love this store, because it has tons of fresh baked stuff. My plan was to get the thing or two and lots of junk I was craving. Except I passed up on a lot of stuff. Went by the cupcakes... some were pretty but many were in 6 packs and I didn't want 6.. I wanted 1. Looked at their pies... meh. Looked at my beloved ginger cookies and remembered I have two here still going stale. I looked at their cinnamon buns... Way too big. Looked at their puffed wheat squares and wanted them but they were hard. I grabbed chips for Erik. I looked at the ice cream and I want cotton candy or bubble gum. They don't have that so I got small portions of the salted caramel. At the end of the day the only thing I got for tonight cause I wanted it were these mini donuts. I sat down and savoured 5. I did pop over to the brownie pan and grab a bite or two and the food police was like omg Kyra why do you need donuts and brownies and then I thought sush. I can do what I want. I also noticed I bought cinnamon toast crunch cereal on Friday I haven't touched yet either. Who am I? 

Later on I also had crackers, cheese, and salami as a snack. I felt guilty because I wasn't that hungry, but I couldn't stop thinking about it and although I wasn't hungry I wasn't that full after so it's okay.