Day 1
How it all started: A good friend of mine Heather reached out to me after I put out a very dramatic post about counting WW points plus after being off track and being so hungry, but having to turn down food. I wanted to self sabotage -- and didn't but cried about it.
She told me to try and track down a book by Josie Spinardi called "Thin side out: How to have your cake and your skinny jeans too."
I read the entire book except for the last chapter, in only a couple of hours.
The premise, is simple. Dieting actually triggers behaviours in people they don't even know it does, like binge eating and extreme restriction... when people diet, and it doesn't work, they blame themselves, but it's really the sinister diet at work. The goal? Eat what you want, when you are hungry and stop when you are full. The idea is that without restriction you won't go after certain foods, and you will be mentally, and physically satisfied.
I have done Weight Watchers on and off since 2013. I did it very seriously from Aug 2015-2016 and lost 50 lbs. I felt amazing. But after my wedding I lost my "why" I didn't know WHY I wanted to lose weight. Sure I didn't want to be repulsed by myself, or hate how I looked.... but I didn't really know why I was dieting so intensely. I knew I wanted to enjoy food all of the time, but felt I could never lose weight and enjoy whatever I wanted to eat whenever I wanted to eat it and still look the way I wanted.
But I read the book, and a lot of it made sense to me. I have lived with a lot of restriction on weight watchers, and even before that. I do believe in that idea that if you can eat whatever you want... those doughnuts and chips and icecream are just whatever foods, and you no longer become obsessed with them. Something I never gave myself the chance to do. All I ever did was either be on track, or off track on weight watchers and never gave myself the chance to eat as a normal person.
So I decided to start today. And really give it a shot, even though I am really nervous. I am going to be weighing myself one a week to give myself a fair shot.
Day 1/ Meal 1 - An amazing salami, havarti, capocollo, garlic mayo, tomato and onion sandwich.
What I would normally restrict in this meal....? A LOT.
Firstly, white bread. I normally restrict that. It's 5 points, instead of 3/4 points for other filling bread. I have binge eaten this bread with butter on it. Seriously.
Secondly, the mayo. Usually I limit myself to 1 tbs of mayo, this time I just mixed it up with my husbands and put on who knows how much of it.
Thirdly, the cheese. This is full fat havarti, I usually use light cheddar.
Fourth, the meat... I put on Salami and Capocollo and didn't count the slices. I just piled them on. Normally I use 1 or two only.
Fifth, the avocado, normally I weigh it out and only 2-3 points and have NEVER had cheese meat and avocado on a sandwich cause that's just gluttonous.
How did it taste: AMAZING. Salty, fatty, and had so much flavour I loved it.
When did I stop eating: When it stopped tasting as amazing, when I felt no longer hungry instead of full. Wondered if I stopped eating too early.
Left Behind: A long bottom strip that still had cheese and meat.
Ate: 12:45 PM - Started to get hungry at 5:15 PM.
Day 1/ Meal 2 - Ritz cheese crackers, caramel cakes, mashmallows, Riesen, oatmeal chocolate cookies.
I started getting hungry after meal two, around 10/11 pm but had to wait until 1 am to eat (I work nights don't judge) because Erik was hungry too and we had to find something that we both wanted to eat. I waited a bit too long to eat because I didn't feel clearly hungry anymore... I knew I had to be hungry though because I had marshmallows for supper LOL. But anyhow, I was scared to eat thing because I am still in diet mentality, and was scared of gaining weight from a bad food. But the entire Donuts and Doritos phase of Intuitive eating is getting over having good and bad food associations. I also was scared I wouldn't stop and eat past being full... but I did not! I left some behind, and I really enjoyed it and did not feel over full at all.This is really amazing when it comes to poutine for me... because I would normally eat the whole plate clean and ignore how full I was. Then... after the poutine I would start craving sweets that I wouldn't let myself have, because I didn't have points left after such a high point meal, so then I would binge. I didn't do that... and I didn't have anything sweet after this because I didn't want to.
She told me to try and track down a book by Josie Spinardi called "Thin side out: How to have your cake and your skinny jeans too."
I read the entire book except for the last chapter, in only a couple of hours.
The premise, is simple. Dieting actually triggers behaviours in people they don't even know it does, like binge eating and extreme restriction... when people diet, and it doesn't work, they blame themselves, but it's really the sinister diet at work. The goal? Eat what you want, when you are hungry and stop when you are full. The idea is that without restriction you won't go after certain foods, and you will be mentally, and physically satisfied.
I have done Weight Watchers on and off since 2013. I did it very seriously from Aug 2015-2016 and lost 50 lbs. I felt amazing. But after my wedding I lost my "why" I didn't know WHY I wanted to lose weight. Sure I didn't want to be repulsed by myself, or hate how I looked.... but I didn't really know why I was dieting so intensely. I knew I wanted to enjoy food all of the time, but felt I could never lose weight and enjoy whatever I wanted to eat whenever I wanted to eat it and still look the way I wanted.
But I read the book, and a lot of it made sense to me. I have lived with a lot of restriction on weight watchers, and even before that. I do believe in that idea that if you can eat whatever you want... those doughnuts and chips and icecream are just whatever foods, and you no longer become obsessed with them. Something I never gave myself the chance to do. All I ever did was either be on track, or off track on weight watchers and never gave myself the chance to eat as a normal person.
So I decided to start today. And really give it a shot, even though I am really nervous. I am going to be weighing myself one a week to give myself a fair shot.
Day 1/ Meal 1 - An amazing salami, havarti, capocollo, garlic mayo, tomato and onion sandwich.
Firstly, white bread. I normally restrict that. It's 5 points, instead of 3/4 points for other filling bread. I have binge eaten this bread with butter on it. Seriously.
Secondly, the mayo. Usually I limit myself to 1 tbs of mayo, this time I just mixed it up with my husbands and put on who knows how much of it.
Thirdly, the cheese. This is full fat havarti, I usually use light cheddar.
Fourth, the meat... I put on Salami and Capocollo and didn't count the slices. I just piled them on. Normally I use 1 or two only.
Fifth, the avocado, normally I weigh it out and only 2-3 points and have NEVER had cheese meat and avocado on a sandwich cause that's just gluttonous.
How did it taste: AMAZING. Salty, fatty, and had so much flavour I loved it.
When did I stop eating: When it stopped tasting as amazing, when I felt no longer hungry instead of full. Wondered if I stopped eating too early.
Left Behind: A long bottom strip that still had cheese and meat.
Ate: 12:45 PM - Started to get hungry at 5:15 PM.
Day 1/ Meal 2 - Ritz cheese crackers, caramel cakes, mashmallows, Riesen, oatmeal chocolate cookies.
I didn't really plan properly this morning, I randomly threw snacks in my bag and figured I would go grab dinner somewhere but I didn't end up wanting to. The left is what I started with and the right is what I ended with. I felt quite surprised that I didn't binge and eat everything here. I stopped when I when I was no longer hungry. I ate at about 7:15 - at 8:15 PM I started feeling a bit of a sugar and energy crash. It tasted pretty good, especially the marshmallows but it wasn't the best thing I tasted in my entire life. Yes -- it seems crazy that I ate this for a meal, but this is the Donuts and Dorito phase, where you what you've wanted that you've restricted so you no longer allow it to have this crazy power over you.
Day 1: Meal 2: Poutine
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