Week 1 - Weigh In

I was so conflicted about weighing myself, but after dieting for so long my weight does matter to me. I tried super hard to trust this IE process and didn't weigh myself for the first 7 days. I hopped on today and I am so happy!! If I saw a 2 lb gain on weight watchers I would hate myself and plan to restrict. Instead now I can't believe that I only gained 2 lbs! I ate whatever the f I wanted all week long. I'm talking 2 giant cinnamon buns, a pint of ice cream, poutine twice, ice cream for breakfast, an entire pack of ginger cookies, pizza twice!!!! Also remember I literally binged on Saturday too?! It's actually a wonder to me I didn't gain +15 lbs and you know why I'm up too? Probably sodium from the pub food I ate 7 hours ago, and a really bad sleep last night! If you think about it, by eating what I want, I spend my precious hunger (and calories) on those items and don't waste anything on stuff I should eat, that I don't want to eat. That way I avoid over eating and most importantly anger self sabotaging binges. Guys I am so gonna keep going. It took me three days of starving to temporarily lose 3.8 lbs and 7 days of eating whatever the hell I wanted only made 1.9 of it come back. Deal. Good enough for me.

I'm going to tell you a fun story about these cinnamon rolls. I love, cinnamon rolls. I got these on Saturday. I ate one as part of a binge and I ate one a few days ago after lunch. They were delish. I brought one to work with me yesterday and didn't eat it. Held out for something else I wanted more. There's two left in this package and I need to throw them away. They're stale. Not even a microwave can save them. Do you know when the last time I threw baked goods away for being stale? And I don't even feel bad about it. I seriously don't care. There's gonna be a lot of other food and cinnamon buns after this -- so this was easy. I'm not throwing them away because I'm mad at myself or because they're too tempting. I'm throwing them out because they weren't tempting enough.