Day 20

Day 20/Meal 1 - Avocado toast with an egg and peanut butter honey on bread and cantaloupe

I was hungry right before bed and this morning before I got up but sleeping won. When I got up I made myself avocado toast with an egg and peanut butter honey on bread which I am so not tired of yet. Then I also had cantaloupe and tea. I didn't eat until full I was satisfied but not full and that honestly didn't bother me. And then I didn't meal prep for supper I have no idea what the hell I'm having and it don't even care amazing.

Day 20/Snack - Nutrigrain bar

 

Breakfast didn't make me super full was getting hungry around 3:30 so I had a snack. These I restricted before but I love them!

Day 20/Meal 2 - Macaroni and ketchup chips and gummy candies

 I wanted Quiznos for dinner but they were closed. I went to the store and was craving something warm and salty and I was craving craft dinner so I got frozen mac and cheese. I left some behind because it didn't taste as good anymore. I also bought gummy candies and ketchup chips. I felt pretty in control. I had like 10 candies? And a couple handful of chips and both the bags are both full and I ate each one until the taste slowly went down and wasn't as amazing. Then I put the two bags in my desk drawer and all is well. Feeling good. It's 8:30 and I have a tummy ache which I expected. Gummy candies always give me a tummy ache but I like them sometimes. I knew the risk lol around 9 pm I even ate more gummies haha. 

 Day 20/Meal 3 - Onion rings and chicken fingers from A and W

 When Erik picked me up we both wanted fast food. I wasn't hungry really... but I got three chicken fingers and onion rings. I left a couple of onion rings. Had a few bites of Erik's poutine. I over ate but it was very conscious. I enjoyed every bite, I gauged my fullness and decided to keep going. I didn't eat it to punish myself. I didn't binge eat it. It was also 20 days since we ate fast food! Crazy. It's 2 hrs later I feel so free. I ate when I wasn't hungry but I feel so peaceful right now. I enjoyed it, I'm ok, and I feel good. I noticed the next day this food didn't leave me feeling that well so now I know that a and w and gummy candies don't serve my body by making me feel good inside even if it serves me psychologically. So that doesn't mean I can never have them I just need to make that choice next time and be aware my body might not feel good after. This is also big progress for me, because in the past even if I was full on a binge day I would order a burger and a side and a drink and force myself to eat it all and then help Erik polish his off to make it worth it. This time was not like that.