Week 3 - Progress Update
I was chatting with my mom who suggested that I write some positive changes that I have been noticing so I thought I could do a little before and after!
BEFORE - While on Weight Watchers - Disordered Behaviours
-Weighing myself everyday
-Basing how I felt about myself that day on the scale
-Staying only within daily points sometimes to lose faster especially when coming up to big events like my wedding or birthday
-Staying on track for about 2 weeks, then going off track for 2 weeks and binge eating and gaining up to 8 lbs in one week.
-Hoard points for dessert
-Feel guilty for going off track, even if it was one bite of something, and then binge to punish myself and ruin the rest of the day and make it worth it. Sometimes this led me to being off track for months at a time, but I never went off track one day and got back on track the same day.
-Felt obsessed that I didn't weigh myself the morning of my wedding
-Thinking I looked fat in my wedding pictures even though I was at my lowest weight
-Think constantly about how the foods I eat would lead to weight gain
-Feeling uncomfortable and self conscious, even at my lowest weight
-Only posting pictures on instagram if I felt skinny and pretty in them
-Turned down every single thing offered to me at work like donuts, pizza etc
-Never guessing on points, if I didn't have the point value I wouldn't eat it
-Turning down social events because I didn't know the points at the restaurant we would be going to
-Felt guilty for eating Mcdonalds the night before my wedding
-Felt like one bad day could ruin months of progress
-On treat days I would wake up and eat multiple full sized chocolate bars out of fear of restriction
-I would think about food literally every second of every day
-I would try different WW methods like the Wendie program, or Simply Filling to maximize weight loss
-Drinking 2 L of water a day whether I was thirsty or not, at times drinking a bunch of lemon water to help.
AFTER - While Intuitively Eating - New Behaviours and successes thus far
-Weighed myself once a week, then not at all.
-Only binge ate once, 3 days in
-Trying to focus on how I feel about myself in the mirror and how my clothes fit since I don't weigh myself anymore
-Posted a picture to instagram I normally wouldn't have, since I didn't deem flattering
-Eating when I am hungry, even if it's 11PM, or 2:30AM
-Working actively to repair my relationship with food
-Stopped drinking coffee because I listened to how it made my body feel bad inside
-Instead of turning down treats at work, I don't eat them, and not because I don't let myself - I literally just don't want to
-Took me 20 days to even want to eat fast food
-I am finding brownies, and chocolate bars every where in my work drawer, bedside table, and in my purse and had literally forgotten about them even being there/was not tempted about them at all.
-Food that I normally buy, and binge eat entirely within the same day now lasts me a week. Seriously blown away by this. This includes chips and cookies.
- I have had to throw away brownies, bagels, marshmallows, cheese bread sticks, cinnamon buns, chocolate croissants, and mini donuts in the garbage because they got stale before I ate them.
-I buy things that I want like chocolate chip waffles, and toaster strudels and chocolate and salted caramel ice cream and have forgotten to eat them.
-I bought ice-cream and ate from it once, and haven't touched in again in over a week.
-I can start eating food, and throw it away when I am done instead of finishing it and eating over full in a compulsive way. I have thrown out part of a DQ Blizzard, Nachos and a Slurpee and part of a Magnum gold bar.
-Gained 3.3 lbs in 2 weeks on intuitive eating instead of the possible 8-16 lbs I could have had I been binge eating
-I went into the grocery store and gave myself full permission to buy anything I wanted and I passed up on pies, puff wheat squares, cinnamon buns, muffins, pastries etc because nothing looked good.
So although I am gaining weight and I know it, it's okay, because I am coming a very long way with food itself and hopefully things will start to balance out.
BEFORE - While on Weight Watchers - Disordered Behaviours
-Weighing myself everyday
-Basing how I felt about myself that day on the scale
-Staying only within daily points sometimes to lose faster especially when coming up to big events like my wedding or birthday
-Staying on track for about 2 weeks, then going off track for 2 weeks and binge eating and gaining up to 8 lbs in one week.
(I gained 8 lbs in a week of binge eating when we moved from our apartment to our house)
-Not eating when I was hungry if I was out of points -Hoard points for dessert
-Feel guilty for going off track, even if it was one bite of something, and then binge to punish myself and ruin the rest of the day and make it worth it. Sometimes this led me to being off track for months at a time, but I never went off track one day and got back on track the same day.
(What my typical months started looking like every month, staying on track half the time and binge eating half the time)
-Felt obsessed that I didn't weigh myself the morning of my wedding
-Thinking I looked fat in my wedding pictures even though I was at my lowest weight
(Thought that I looked fat in this photo)
-Eating low fat or fat free foods that were disgusting to save on points-Think constantly about how the foods I eat would lead to weight gain
-Feeling uncomfortable and self conscious, even at my lowest weight
-Only posting pictures on instagram if I felt skinny and pretty in them
-Turned down every single thing offered to me at work like donuts, pizza etc
-Never guessing on points, if I didn't have the point value I wouldn't eat it
-Turning down social events because I didn't know the points at the restaurant we would be going to
-Felt guilty for eating Mcdonalds the night before my wedding
-Felt like one bad day could ruin months of progress
-On treat days I would wake up and eat multiple full sized chocolate bars out of fear of restriction
-I would think about food literally every second of every day
-I would try different WW methods like the Wendie program, or Simply Filling to maximize weight loss
-Drinking 2 L of water a day whether I was thirsty or not, at times drinking a bunch of lemon water to help.
AFTER - While Intuitively Eating - New Behaviours and successes thus far
-Weighed myself once a week, then not at all.
-Only binge ate once, 3 days in
-Trying to focus on how I feel about myself in the mirror and how my clothes fit since I don't weigh myself anymore
-Posted a picture to instagram I normally wouldn't have, since I didn't deem flattering
-Eating when I am hungry, even if it's 11PM, or 2:30AM
-Working actively to repair my relationship with food
-Stopped drinking coffee because I listened to how it made my body feel bad inside
-Instead of turning down treats at work, I don't eat them, and not because I don't let myself - I literally just don't want to
-Took me 20 days to even want to eat fast food
-I am finding brownies, and chocolate bars every where in my work drawer, bedside table, and in my purse and had literally forgotten about them even being there/was not tempted about them at all.
-Food that I normally buy, and binge eat entirely within the same day now lasts me a week. Seriously blown away by this. This includes chips and cookies.
- I have had to throw away brownies, bagels, marshmallows, cheese bread sticks, cinnamon buns, chocolate croissants, and mini donuts in the garbage because they got stale before I ate them.
-I buy things that I want like chocolate chip waffles, and toaster strudels and chocolate and salted caramel ice cream and have forgotten to eat them.
-I bought ice-cream and ate from it once, and haven't touched in again in over a week.
-I can start eating food, and throw it away when I am done instead of finishing it and eating over full in a compulsive way. I have thrown out part of a DQ Blizzard, Nachos and a Slurpee and part of a Magnum gold bar.
-Gained 3.3 lbs in 2 weeks on intuitive eating instead of the possible 8-16 lbs I could have had I been binge eating
-I went into the grocery store and gave myself full permission to buy anything I wanted and I passed up on pies, puff wheat squares, cinnamon buns, muffins, pastries etc because nothing looked good.
So although I am gaining weight and I know it, it's okay, because I am coming a very long way with food itself and hopefully things will start to balance out.
Comments
Post a Comment